Conversations about holding and being held

An invisible role many mothers —and women— live every day without naming it.

We hold far more than what is usually seen.

We hold emotions, schedules, relationships, mental load, unspoken needs, and the quiet responsibility of keeping things together.

This holding does not end with pregnancy or early motherhood.

It becomes a way of being in the world.

A constant adjustment to others’ needs, to life stages, and to expectations that shift but rarely disappear.

And because this role is so normalized, we often remain unaware of it.

We rarely pause to ask ourselves what we are holding or what it is costing us.

In daily life, this shows up in small, ordinary moments:

making space for others’ emotions, anticipating needs before they are spoken, staying strong so others can feel safe, postponing rest until “everything else” is done.

And in the middle of all this holding, one essential question often remains unspoken:

who is holding us?

Recognizing ourselves as holders is not about blame.

It is about awareness.

Because only when we clearly see what we carry can we begin to choose what to hold, what to share, and where we need support.